we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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