I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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