Betty ford says i'm here all night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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