True but thats because hes a fetus.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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