i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
