i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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