i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
