none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
