Umm I'm too high to move.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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