How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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