Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
