I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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