he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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