My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
