arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
