i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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