just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
