Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
