Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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(850): View more from Florida

Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.

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(323): View more from California

Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more

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