Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
