OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
