id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
