Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
