doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
