Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so let's talk penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
