I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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