i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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