i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
