Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
