can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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