Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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