Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
