yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
