Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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