Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
