I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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