By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
