dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
