I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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