she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
