dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
