I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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