i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
