I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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