just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
