Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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