Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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