Dual....:-)
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
