I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
