Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
